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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt So I punched her in the face and fucked her twice. Har har har"

"I plan on getting ""sidewalk nap"" drunk tonight."

"I'm most productive at work when I'm in the bathroom. It's where I get shit done."

"What is the difference between a dead hooker and an onion? You cry when you cut up the onion."

"So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore... ...I'm not really sure how I feel about it"

"How did the Pharaoh feel after falling for a craigslist scam? Egypt"

"What's the Russian word for Internet outage? Internjet"

"How do you make a nun pregnant? You fuck her."

"Everyone's like ""I love Obama"" or ""I love Romney"" and I'm just over here like ""I love whiskey and beer"""

"What do cows that are stoners say? 420 graze it"