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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between pedophiles and acne? Acne waits until you're 13."
Next Joke
"If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door."
"A man stumbles upon a Genie and is granted 3 wishes. Genie: What is your first wish? Joe: I want to be rich. Genie: Granted. What is your second wish? Rich: I want lots of money."
"Life is like a dry handjob. Sometimes its painful sometimes its enjoyable most of the time its hard but mostly your just happy it keeps goin"
"What is white and square? A ping pong block."
"All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental."
"What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?"
"How do you get two whales in a Mini Cooper? Take the M4, across the Severn Bridge."
"Reddit's search function"
"What do you call two doctors with the same career? Pair of medics."