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Joke of the Day

"I remember the days when I wasn't addicted to Facebook...I also remember eating, sleeping, going out, returning calls, making eye contact,"

"When I was a kid, I wanted my bed near the window to see the moon and stars. Now, I want my bed near the mobile charging plug."

"So I confronted and cursed my son out for being in a relationship with a man..... He told me his partner was a Tranny and I felt like such an idiot. Sorry Ma'am. Your masculine face had me off."

"Funny Conversation that actually happened to me Me: Hey Dray is that a new watch? Dray: Yeah man Me: Smooth, what kind of watch is it? Dray: Guess Me: Just tell me, I don't know my watches very well."

"""It's a bird!"" [Superman zooms down to inches away from the screaming guy's face] S: Birds can't go that fast Sean. What are you an idiot"

"Politicians are a lot like diapers... They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons. (Benjamin Franklin)"

"Women with large breasts are generally more successful than men with large breasts."

"I just asked my friend to come over and ""play husband"". He's gonna be pissed when he finds out we are putting together shelves from ikea."

"How do you top a car? tep on the brake, tupid!"

"How does one respond to a black guy sending you a dick pic? TL;DR"