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Joke of the Day

"I have been talking to this beautiful woman online for a while... And today I finally got to meet him"

"""Hey Evolution, what the fuck?"" - Platypus"

"I went for a check-up today, the dr. said everything looked good... Then he stuck his finger up my ass and declared everything there was good also.... I think I may need to find a new dentist."

"Just saw two homeless people hitting each other with cardboard.... Pillow fight?"

"What did the Dead Head say, after he ran out of weed? ""Damn, this music sucks!"""

"My wrists hurt every time I drive through a tunnel with passengers. The doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel."

"Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray."

"Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out?Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in. -"

"Trying to give up cold turkey It's hard though when there is so much left over from Christmas."

"what's the best part of living in Sweden? Well, the flags a big plus. edit: FUCK meant Switzerland"