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Joke of the Day

"Blackjack is a lot like my love life. I always hit on 16"

"Jesus: ""Is it time for the second coming yet dad?"" God: ""I'll just give Kanye the Holy Spirit. Already thinks he's me."" Both: ""LOLOLOLOL"""

"Rate kickass only this if your name isn't Steve"

"What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? I don't cry when I cut up the hooker"

"How did the mathematician get rid of his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."

"If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?"

"Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?"

"How did the sperm cross the road? I put the wrong socks on today. ^(credit to /u/jackster_)"

"Why do they call it PMS? Because mad cow disease was taken"

"Plans to move the Russian Embassy from its current location have had to be postponed. Because Donald Trump won't pull his head out of the new place."