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Joke of the Day

"First year my husband didn't give me some sort of sweet on our anniversary. I got roses. He thinks I'm fat. I know it."

"Why did The Walrus go to a Tupperware party? He wanted to find a tight seal."

"Your so bald I can see what your thinking."

"yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!"

"My girlfriend left because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. But don't worry... I'll return."

"SWJ goes to the laundromat . . . . . . . . and is appalled by everybody being ok with separating whites from coloreds."

"Last Valentine's day I recieved so many cards from my girlfriends that I couldn't open the front door... Because my wife had the locks changed"

"If pharmaceutical companies have taught me anything, they've taught me that people with life threatening illnesses love to hike."

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"Hippies say the darndest things... What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job? Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)"