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Joke of the Day
"Why is the sea salty? Because the land never waves back"
Next Joke
"Me: ""Can I have a few extra days off before Christmas?"" Boss: ""It's May."" Me: ""Sorry, may I have a few days off before Christmas?"""
"I don't know how Valve managed to do it, but... they even included the British Pound in their summer sale this year."
"You know what's not right? Left"
"What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your swimming pool? Bob"
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face before."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ? Bacon a cake for your birthday !"
"What's more useless than a condom at a feminist rally? Everyone there."
"I ate so much at Thanksgiving, I had to loosen my Fitbit. (Credit to my future mother-in-law for this suprise zinger)"
"lets modernize Hey Arnold fellas this will be hilarious... Hey Ackbar! ""move it towelhead"""