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Joke of the Day

"If you don't want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?"

"girl at work scraped the frosting off her cake because there was 'too much' & it was 'too sweet' so I ate her frosting & then I ate her"

"According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame"

"They're having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I'm dreading it."

"How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass? Surprisingly pleasing."

"I get confused by Burqas. I accidentally posted a letter in a Muslim woman yesterday."

"What does a nosey pepper do? Get's jalapeno business!"

"A Priest and a Rabbi observe a 10-year old boy walking down the street. Priest: Wanna fuck him? Rabbi: Out of what?"

"I'm putting off having kids mainly because I'm not ready to be 9 months sober."

"Your clothes would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.8 m/s"