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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell a redneck girl is a virgin? She can run faster than her brother."

"Women are like swimming pools... ...both are too expensive for the time you spend inside..."

"A small part of me is filled with self-loathing for how much pizza I can eat in one sitting. The rest of me is filled with pizza."

"My wife has just walked out the door with the kids for good because of my addiction to horse racing. In fact, I can see them now they're all at the gate and they're off!"

"Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class ? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !"

"What do you call a white athlete who wins a sprint vs black athletes? A racist. :) xxx"

"Thanks for the 27 hashtags describing your pic otherwise I would have never known it's a hamburger"

"One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I'm going to visit."

"I just heard the words ""she received an academic scholarship from the university of Alabama."" I never thought I'd hear ""academic scholarship"", ""university"" and ""Alabama"" in the same sentence."

"the difference between me and humpty dumpty is that his friends looked at him and thought to themselves ""we should put him back together"""