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Joke of the Day

"I would tell you a joke about anal sex... Butt fuck it."

"COP: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""So it wouldn't be windy when we talked."""

"9 Clowns in an elevator, one of them silently farts. One leans over to another and wispers...""You smell something funny?""."

"I just took nitrous oxide, and laxatives. For shits, and giggles."

"""When I think of you, there are some capital gains in my pants."" - sexy accountant pickup lines"

"My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up"

"I asked my sister how her blind date went ""Oh it was terrible"" she said, ""He showed up in a 1948 Rolls-Royce."" ""So what's so bad about *that*?"" I asked. Apparently he was the original owner."

"What did the Jew say to the homeless man? Could you spare some change?"

"What do you call a Hebrew that lives in the Alpines? A Mountain Jew."

"What's 6.9? A good thing screwed up by a period"