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Joke of the Day

"Her: YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT! Me: Well... at least I'm not all of the shit"

"Losing my virginity was a lot like riding a bike for the first time. My dad was holding me from behind."

"Two necrophiles are discussing their love lives. Necrophile 1: What happened with you and Brenda? Necrophile 2: Ah, you know how it is. . .the rotten cunt split on me."

"My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I'll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards."

"Confucius say man who run behind car... ...get exhausted."

"Gay men make me puke I wish they wouldn't shove it down my throat."

"What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of the dog."

"Would a gay shop owner decline service to straights? No, because gay people aren't fucking assholes"

"The wife asked her husband to get rid of his boner He tried, but it was too difficult."