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Joke of the Day
"What's 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Donald Trump's tie"
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"Why a giraffe got arrested while driving? Coz he was high :D"
"Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn't like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes."
"""Surely I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."" I wonder why rich men didn't just chop up the camel first..."
"[date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Wife: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?"
"What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !"
"Why was Princess Peach worried when Mario wanted to use her laptop? She forgot to delete her Bowser history"
"Did you know I am part of the 1% of Rare, Beautiful, handsome and modest people!"
"5yo: Can we go get a turtle? They're so cool! Me: Whats so cool about turtles? 5yo: They can breath thru their butts! Me: Grab your coat.."
"Some people just have a way with words... ...and other people ... oh ... not have way."