6030

Joke of the Day

"Honked & did thumbs-up to teen goth girl on the street I thought looked super cool & she rolled her eyes & I was like YES EXACTLY KEEP AT IT"

"whats better than a pile of dead babys two piles of dead babys and there is 1 in the middle of each piles and they have to eat there way out"

"So I released a new cook book in the oriental side of town. It's called *101 ways to wok your dog*"

"When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me...I don't know man. I think you're gonna have a bad time"

"""Talk to me, Goose,"" Tom Cruise crackled over the radio. ""Squawk."" Goose replied before nose diving into the ground causing untold amounts of destruction, because geese can not operate aircraft."

"What do you call a woman flying a plane? A pilot, you sexist!"

"I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend ""That's us in 10 years"". She said ""That's a mirror""."

"double negatives what is the greatest double negative/oxymoron of all time? A happy Marriage"

"My ex-girlfriend dropped this one on me a heavy box. She was trying to kill me."

"How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a goose."