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Joke of the Day

"Based on the musicians who thanked him at the Grammys, I gotta say: I'm not crazy for God's taste in music."

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"A fat man complained to a doctor that obesity runs in the family The doctor replied: It's not obesity that runs in the family, it's that no one runs in your family."
"Why can't Santa play in the NBA? He has a no-trade Claus"
"I can't wait for Alien vs. Predator vs. Liam Neeson."
"Knock Knock ...who's there? Smell mop Smell mop who?"
"Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could've sworn she mouthed the word ""crap""."
"I stepped on some corn flakes the other day.. .. And now I'm a convicted cereal killer."
"*on the subway* CUTE GUY: [mouths ""hi""] PRETTY GIRL: [mouths ""hi"" back] ME, IN BETWEEN THEM: [exaggeratedly mouths ""YOU GUYS LIKE HOTDOGS""]"
"Prior to officially becoming a part of the United States, what was Oregon like? It was very unOregonized."
"What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard? ""The loser was 'thore'"""