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Joke of the Day
"This Subreddit"
Next Joke
"Are you today's date? Because you're 1/10, bye."
"Marry someone who loves Hawaiian pizza so you can just get your own good tasting pizza all to yourself."
"What do you call cows with 2 legs? Lean beef. bonus: What do you call cows with no legs? Ground beef."
"My ex was an absolute treasure. By treasure, I mean you will need a map and a shovel to find her."
"Me: ""Can you go back four slides?"" Bride: ""To the wedding dress?"" Me: ""No, the cheese plate."" Me: Wipes tears."
"Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding."
"Chuck Norris was bitten by a snake After several day of agonising pain, the snake finally died."
"Spiders are lucky. They can shoot magic ropes out of their butt & zip-line whenever they want to."
"My wife: ever since you got on twitter you never listen or talk to me any more. Me: yeah spaghetti for sure!"