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Joke of the Day

"Sure glad I filled my iPod with shit that I hate."

"I'm going to be a virgin for life Set a good example for my kids."

"A man walks into a bar... Just kidding, he is actually sitting at home."

"Found a $50 bill in the laundromat the other day.. I looked to the washer and dryers for clues, but they all told me to Bounce."

"I stole a jar of jelly from a friend... While I was blasting some Daft Punk. He chases me down yelling ""That's my jam!"""

"""You may now kiss the bride"" Wow this is the happiest day of- *dad flies by in hot air ballon* QUEEERR *throws football at my head*"

"Did you know that there is an elephant at Bush Gardens? That's what I call my crotch."

"The funniest joke in the world Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"

"How to get out of a bad date. 1. Pull fake baby out of your bag. 2. Tell your date to help pick a name. 3. Start taking family photos."

"What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife? Who are you?"