135519

Joke of the Day

"The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?"

"I find it Hillaryous that the presidential candidates this year are so horrible. I wonder if either of them will pull out their Trump card to guarantee that win though."

"You've just got to see the fan exhibition It blew me away"

"inncocent child"

"So this dyslexic guy walks into a bra"

"Advice on getting a girl everytime My friend told me to use oysters, they work every time. I replied bollox she will notice them floating in her drink."

"Men have a basic understanding of complex ideas. Women have a complex understanding of basic ideas."

"All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river."

"Perverts have made it so you can't even park your makeshift surveillance van conspicuously outside girls' college diving team meets anymore."

"What does a colour's laugh sound like? Hue hue hue"