135497

Joke of the Day

"Cutbacks on HealthCare are really starting to show. I went for my prostate exam today, and instead of lube the doc spat on my asshole"

"*Eats a snack while making a snack*"

"""Just obsess about that stupid thing you said for another hour, then maybe we can move on."" - My mind."

"If you're still writing checks, remember it's 2016 and you should probably find a better way to pay for your groceries."

"Colorado changed the name of Christmas to Juana. ""Merry Juana!"""

"It was awkward when she said, ""And yet your feet are so big."""

"TIFU by sleeping with my Crush Now there's orange soda all over my bed. :("

"Guy on this bus just congratulated his friend for having a birthday. Indeed, congratulations are in order for this unique accomplishment"

"i get in my bubble bath with clenched fists to make me look more manly"

"Another Math Joke Two cats are sitting on a roof. Which one will fall off first? The one with the smaller mu."