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Joke of the Day

"My friend told me he wanted to plant an orchard. I told him to grow a pear."

"What's another name for an parent? Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist."

"Why does 7 make 6 nervous? 7 is his plus one, but she's bigger than he is."

"I sex you, but I'm not 'in sex' with you."

"How did the Hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"Oh I thought you said VANILLA folder. Haha classic mix up. Seriously though take your folder it's melting."

"After he loses, everyone who supported Trump should have to spend a year on an island where he gets to make all the decisions."

"What do Santa's little helpers learn in school? The Elfabet!"

"Did you hear about the woman who's addicted to lipstick? It's so crazy, it's something nobody could makeup!"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... I don't fucking like coffee."