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Joke of the Day

"[runs up to a group of people] ME: ZACK ATTACK GUY: lol is your name zack or [thousands of bros crest a nearby hill] ME: [whispering] RUN"

"My catchphrase is ""Just smell the money, baby"". I can't use it yet (I don't have money), please don't steal it"

"That group of millionaires owned by that one millionaire is beating that other group of millionaires owned by that other millionaire. Yes!!!"

"On an analog clock, 6:30 is the best time of day... Hands down"

"Say ""Rise Up Lights"" out loud You just said ""Razor Blades"" in an Australian accent"

"I decided to get my girlfriend & her sister new jackets for Christmas That is why I bought a pair of new gloves."

"What do you call a Black man flying a plane? ..A pilot you fuckin racists"

"the homeless woman I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box."

"How did the mathematician treat his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."

"There is nothing in the world that lowers your IQ faster than trying to use someone else's coffee machine."