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Joke of the Day

"My catchphrase is ""Just smell the money, baby"". I can't use it yet (I don't have money), please don't steal it"

"I know it's ""cool"" to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That's somebody's daughter."

"Boy: My love for you is like counting the stars.. Girl: Oww, Infinite? Boy: Nope, Pointless .."

"You can accurately measure a person's intelligence level by giving them a simple prostate exam. If they let you, they're an idiot."

"People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them."

"Probably the hardest part about being God is deciding between two equally terrible youth soccer teams that have just prayed to win."

"How do you titallate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."

"So I saw a black man out on the street carrying a TV and thought, ""Hey, that looks just like mine.."", But then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes."

"I like my women the way I like my coffee... Two years old and stone cold..."

"What do you call a fear of chainsaws? Logic."