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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Its a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"I want to congratulate you on learning the definition of abundance. ""Thank you. It means a lot."""

"The sign said ""fine for parking here"" And since it was fine, I parked there."

"You know you're awesome when Facebook suggests people you have already had sex with."

"I backed a horse at 10/1 yesterday... It came in at quarter past 4."

"Why do you always follow your instinct when doing trigonometry? Beacuse you might have secant thoughts and go off on a tangent"

"What did the salmon say when it hit the wall? ""Dam"""

"If Linkin Park was to describe photons: ""[...] But in the end, it isn't even matter."""

"Someone please invent a service to grocery shop for you but also cook it into a meal and also the meal is pizza oh it's pizza delivery"

"You better watch out... ... 'cause I know Jiu Jitsu, Tae Kwon Do, Kung Fu, and about 12 other Chinese words!"