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Joke of the Day
"What did the salmon say when it hit the wall? ""Dam"""
Next Joke
"Nobody under the age of 23 has any recollection of life before the internet. I hope that fact makes you vomit like it did me."
"New surveys show: Surveys show that Google plus is gaining rapid popularity among today's teens."
"Pregnancy tests make me wish peeing on things answered more questions."
"I think it's funny how I can sleep right through my blaring alarm clock but I'll wake up to the slightest phantom vibrations from my phone."
"If you want to be happy... For an hour, buy some ice cream. For a day, see a movie. For a week, go on vacation. For a month, get a new pet. For a year, get married."
"Whenever me and the wife watch a film, I can always tell if it's going to be shit. She's picked it."
"My girlfriend called me a pedophile... And I said ""that's a pretty big word for an 8 year old."""
"What do you call a woman who can't make sandwiches? Single."
"I'm not the hero Gotham deserves. I'm Pete I work at Subway. Do u want extra meetballs."