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Joke of the Day

"""When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I did those things online"""

Next Joke
 
"[at restaurant trying not to let anyone know I'm a koala] Waiter: ""what can I get u?"" ""do u have any eucalyptus?"" *restaurant goes quiet*"
"What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam."
"Why can't you trust girls? ...because you can't trust something that bleeds for days and doesn't die."
"A good thing about being single is I don't have to worry about anyone flushing while I shower. Or caring that I exist or whatever."
"Trump: ""If you mess with the United States...."" .....there will be hell Toupeeeeee"
"Both her name and her living situation suggests that the dwarves MAY have been referring to Snow White when they sang, 'high ho.'"
"How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?"
"I robbed a lamppost with words printed on it. It's ok, I didn't get in trouble though. You don't get karma from text posts."
"Doctor: ""It's bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's."" Patient: ""Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don't have cancer."""