135159

Joke of the Day

"What's better than a pair of Emerency Medical Technicians? A paramedic(s)!"

"Woman walks in on a man who's masturbating. Woman says, ""Eww you pervert!""... **Man** walks in on a **woman** who's masturbating. Woman says ""Eww you pervert!"" credit: /u/nobodyatnight"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef but you can't pea soup!"

"Did you know the triathlon was invented by a gypsy He walked to the swimming pool and rode a bike home"

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is taco ME: four please JUDGE: we're not- ME: with chips JUDGE: ordering ME: *lips on mic* extra guac"

"Election results are coming in from Warsaw So we'll soon see who's leading the Poles."

"I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it."

"Girls use lotion for hands Boys use lotion for skin."

"#TT At 14 I yelled, ""You'll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!"" and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over."

"On a scale of 1 to fucked, how fucked is FIFA? FIFucked."