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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a really fast seamstress? Tailor Swift"

"I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always."

"Do you know you can't hang a man with a wooden leg in Maine? You have to use a rope."

"Found my cat reading To Kill A Mockingbird. I told him that it didn't actually involve killing birds, but he said he liked courtroom dramas."

"The shame of my ancestry weighs heaviest on my soul any time a white person asks if they can get a ""what what""."

"Greenpeace have come up with a new name for shrimp hunting, claiming it's the same as mass murder. They're calling it columbrine"

"Ladies, try carrying a sausage and 2 apricots in your pocket for a day without them moving and you'll see why we need to readjust ourselves."

"What did the little black kid think when he got diarrhea? He was melting"

"Caught my kid forging my signature and I have to say, pretty good for a third grader"

"I tried putting my cat on a diet once, but she's still fat... I guess it just didn't work out"