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Joke of the Day
"Whats the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted"
Next Joke
"The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends...."
"Why is it so hard to order pizza from me? I'll update with the hilarious punchline later..."
"Doing the splits is easy -- slip on the first snowy step when taking the dog out and let gravity (and panic) make you an Olympic gymnast!"
"I lied to my wife about what I was doing. I told her I was laminating copies of my newest novel. But that was only a cover for my story."
"What is the most important thing for a hungry shark? A-fish-in-sea."
"*flags down police car* how many mpg does this thing get?"
"Me: I won't make it. Go on without me. Her: It's a toe cramp M: But I'm covered in some kind of clear blood H: That's sweat M: Tell my story"
"Just saw a boneless KFC commercial followed by an ad for apple flavored beer. Anyone remember when adults didn't act like five year olds?"
"If you're a ""Blocked caller"" you're gonna be a ""missed call."""