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Joke of the Day

"If you're a ""Blocked caller"" you're gonna be a ""missed call."""

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down... You have my Word"

"I eat sunflower seeds because I like food but I absolutely love littering"

"I made the kids put sunglasses on the snowman so he wouldn't have to make eye contact with the neighbors."

"What gets easier to pick up as it gets heavier? Women."

"I'm such a cougar magnet. And I'm not talking about middle aged women either, I'm talking about REAL FUCKING COUGARS!"

"who needs a bill of rights...? Im bill and im right!!!"

"wife: ""he never reacts appropriately, just tell him"" doctor: ""ok, keith we had to remove both your legs"" me: ""where will i keep my car keys"""

"Why couldn't hitler go to the barbecue He burnt the franks"

"How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? Ten tickles"