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Joke of the Day

"*walks out of prison, a free man. *guards shouting from gate ""From! At! For! With!"" What? ""Oh, we always end sentences with a preposition"""

"Which American president was not guilty? Lincoln, he was in a cent"

"My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring"

"How do you call a robber in a suit of armor? A thief in the knight"

"My parents are really against my candlemaking habit. One day, I came home, and saw that they had thrown away all of my parrafinalia."

"I need help, my wife was killed in a hit and run.. Why would someone drive through the kitchen?"

"how many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None"

"2 men walk into a bar The third one ducks."

"A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture."

"Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?... Because they always blow their trunks off!"