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Joke of the Day

"Why did Marxism never catch on in England? Because then it'd be impossible to get proper tea."

"What's the difference between Al'qaeda and civilians? Beats me I just fly the drone!"

"Maggie Thatcher is due to be buried in a man made lake. Well, it will be once everyone finishes pissing on her grave."

"At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting."

"Why is there cotton in medicine bottles? To remind black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers."

"I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, and I thought to myself. ""Well this changes everything"""

"Whats the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth!"

"My mating call in winter is just me shaving my legs."

"Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite"

"Did you know the anthem of the USA is about a Mexican immigrant? The first line is even about how he got in illegally at night: ""Jose can you see, by the dawn's early light..."""