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Joke of the Day

"My wife has been missing for two days now. Police have told me to expect the worst. So I went to the charity shop to buy her clothes back."

"Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for ""hardcore poem""?"

"How many potatos do you need to kill an Irishman? None."

"Getting a dog next week, i'm naming him Peeve It's my Pet Peeve"

"What is the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Michael Jackson likes to fuck little boys..."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black."

"My girlfriend says there's no difference between Asians and Caucasians. She really can't tell White from Wong."

"So a baby seal walks into a club...."

"You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st It's only the first date."

"So do people not like it when you tell them they could totally do better after meeting their spouse? Flattery is hard."