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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"Please help reconstruct this joke ... The punchline is ""Well, there's cus-turd, and there's mus-turd, and there's you, ya big shit! Run, Myrtle, run!"""

"so awkward when the bill for the wall comes out and no one reaches for it"

"I think my favorite MLK Day tradition is giving pans of ex-lax laced brownies to all the local racist organizations."

"What is the worst part of being both black and jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven. (these do not reflect my personal views)"

"I used to be an expert on the DunningKruger effect... ...but then I began to learn more about it."

"An Atheist, a Vegan, and a Jehovah's Witness walk into a bar.. I know because they told everyone in less than a minute."

"Q: What's that thing called when you're only attracted to married men and gay men?A: Oh. Single. It's called single."

"The thing about women is that they love good listeners and they hate rapists."

"What does the narcissistic cow say? ""Meeeeee!"" I wrote this. I'm now a comedy writer. You are welcome."