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Joke of the Day

"What does the narcissistic cow say? ""Meeeeee!"" I wrote this. I'm now a comedy writer. You are welcome."

"I always make sure to buy high quality toilet paper... If you get the cheap stuff, you'll pay for it in the end."

"I only shave on days when I'll be having sex. I live life as a yeti now."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Some obscure number you probably never heard of."

"Been waiting at the bar for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for fuck sake!!!!!"

"Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather rinse repeat!"

"The end of the month is like stubbing your little toe in the dark. You're probably broke and there's nothing you can do about it."

"What did the booger say to the finger? Pick on someone your own size."

"What do you call someone with No body and a nose.. Nobody knows.."

"Why was the laser sad? All his gas is Argon."