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Joke of the Day

"How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains."

"""I'm sorry, sir but you have cancer and you only have 5..."" ""5 years left to live? 5 months? Tell me, Doc! Tell meeeeee!"" ""5...4...3...2...1"""

"Why don't any American football players wear glasses? Because it is a contact sport!"

"What was Hitler's favorite Yugioh card? Blue Eyes White Person"

"Tell me your best one-liner. I'll start. Scientists have discovered that diarrhea runs in the genes."

"What do running shoes and Neo-Nazis have in common? Both make Jews run faster! (Sorry, but as an agnostic Jew myself, I hope that it's okay for me to make this joke.)"

"Her: Ok you hang up. Him: No, you hang up first. Her: No, you first. Him: No, you first. NSA: Both of you hang up."

"I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them."

"How to be an asian... Just squint your eyes and say ""We all how smaw deek"" out loud."

"I thought it was called a Fist Bump Why not call it a Finger Bang?"