134876

Joke of the Day

"Death is not the end. You still have to dispose of the body and hide the evidence."

"An Italian engineer was kidnapped in Nigeria. Demands were sent via email to his family, but they just got deleted as spam."

"What do you call it when a bunch of stoned poets overthrow the government? A Haiku."

"My favorite exercise at the gym is lateral neck turns, which is where I walk in, shake my head ""no,"" and leave immediately."

"What's every movie critic's favorite cooking ingredient? Michael Bay Leaves."

"I'm such a bad golfer, they should send me to Mars. I'm guaranteed to find water."

"So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great... It was meaty-okra."

"Falling vending machines kill more people per year than sharks. I've never even seen a shark near a vending machine."

"Popcorn What did baby corn asked mummy corn? Where's popcorn."

"I bet sex with a stingray is like fucking a giant pancake."