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Joke of the Day
"Death is not the end. You still have to dispose of the body and hide the evidence."
Next Joke
"*uses ipad as a phone* Hey look at me i'm a hobbit"
"Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?"
"Costume Ideas For Halloween, you should dress up as Pavlov. Not everyone will get it, but it should ring a bell."
"How to be a white girl: 1.) Get a frappuccino from Starbucks 2.) take a picture drinking it 3.) Instagram it 4.) hash tag 'summerrrrrrrrr'"
"Impress an Asian chick by treating her as an equal."
"This morning I was wondering why the sun wasn't rising... And then it dawned on me"
"Who is Donald Trumps favorite Pixar character? WALL-E"
"There was a recall on my hearing aid but I never heard about it."
"Pirates used to wear eye patches because they had hooks for hands"