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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled? It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!"

"Well r/boobs is still working fine!"

"When chuck norris asks for change for a penny, he always gets it."

"There should be only one World's Greatest Dad shirt. And you should have to kill the previous owner to wear it."

"My Acquaintance said he'd make a better electrician than me. I told that cunt I wouldn't be too phased."

"What do gay men and Xbox's have in common? They both get red rings when they're fucked."

"I like my women like I like my _____ (Fill in the blank)."

"What do scientists use to measure a chicken's gestation period? An egg timer"

"When kids don't want to take a nap, can they be charged with resisting a rest?"

"Wife: What r u doing? Husband: Killing mosquitoes. Wife: How many did u kill? Husband: Total 5. Two female, 3 males. Wife: How do u know their genders? Husband: 2 near mirror and 3 near beer."