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Joke of the Day

"(Old WoW joke) ...and Jesus said to his disciples 'I shall grant you wisdom and salvation.' And the disciples replied 'could we get kings instead?'"

"I hate when people say 'I died laughing', and don't die."

"The wife said she's leaving me because she's sick of doing absolutely EVERYTHING for me. If you're wondering why she's typed everything' in capitals,it's to emphasize the point."

"Dear girls that go tanning, it's called 'sunkissed', it's not called 'dorito raped'."

"What is the most confusing day in Harlem Fathers day"

"We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat."

"Some guy changed all his pass words to 'incorrect' so his computer can tell him the right pass word if he gets it wrong"

"Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents."

"Why do fat chicks give good head? Because they have to"

"Why do they carry Marines around on Naval ships? Because sheep would be too obvious."