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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wipe his ass. [Edit] my uncle just told me this"

"My penis refused to give me any jism... Finally, I just had to beat it out of him."

"Did you hear Poland bought 5,000 septic tanks? As soon as they figure out how to drive them, they'll invade Germany."

"You and your happiness can go straight to Walmart. Or whereever your ""hell"" is."

"What did the sushi say to the bee? WASABI"

"Did you hear Donald Trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese? Apparently a bunch of immigrants work in the Kraft factory."

"The reality is that if you have a job that requires a name tag, I'll never give a fuck what your name is."

"Lobsters gonna lobst."

"Be careful of black ice. I rode my bike over some black ice once. I slipped and fell off, and when I looked up, my bike was gone."

"Now 91 is waving his diaper over his head while 86 is running down the street naked with 79's pants. Working in the old folks home is hard."