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Joke of the Day

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? Look for the fresh prints"

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-breasted crab? One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"My toddler fell, smashed his face into the cement, then played it off like he was giving the ground a kiss. No DNA test necessary."

"Why do vegetarian chefs type with their feet? Because they have great toe fu."

"Why did the salmon cross the road? To get to the front page"

"An invisible man attacked me while he was masturbating. He came out of nowhere."

"What doe you call a banana's grandmother? Banana-nana"

"How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years"

"A man walks into a bar... ...with a duck on his head. The bartender says, ""May I help you, sir?"" The duck says, ""Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."""