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Joke of the Day

"I used to be a huge fan of Jesus Christ... but then he got double crossed."

"Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can."

"I'm only putting a picture of me in my locket. This proves I'm independent."

"Did you hear about the man who had his whole left side bitten off by a shark? He's all right now."

"I was going to tell you this joke about Matthew Shepard... ...but I'm kind of on the fence about it."

"Customer: Why is my hairline receding? Barber: It's not. Your scalp is advancing."

"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says ""uno, dos..."" *poof* ...He disappears without a tres!"

"I will carry 17 grocery bags or die trying before making two trips."

"Why do hamburgers and hot dogs fuck their cousins? Because they're inbred!"

"*playing Mortal Kombat* Her: Can I try? Me: Sure. Her: Which one of them shoots that Handookie thingie? Me: Hadouken? Her: Yea. Me: Leave."