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Joke of the Day

"Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can."

"Having kids is a little like when the free sample lady tries to tell you all about the cheese & you pretend to be interested while you eat."

"My friend asked me if I was hungry... I said no, I'm Austria."

"The purpose of Terrorism is to scare and make people feel unsafe, which is something it has in common with Cable News."

"A tornado is a lot like having an affair. At first there is a lot of blowing, but in the end, you just lose your house."

"The road to hell is paved. That's nice."

"I rang up a local builder and said, ""I want a skip outside my house."" He said, ""I'm not stopping you."" **Tim Vine**"

"The room is 15$ a night. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

"Kissing is like peeing your pants Everyone can see it but only you can feel the heat"

"What do you call a reckless thief who only steals cooking utensils? A whisk taker."