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Joke of the Day

"""You spend far too much time on that fucking computer."" Possibly a bit harsh, but as one of Stephen Hawking's closest friends, I felt someone had to tell him."

Next Joke
 
"the flight attendant came down the aisle holding out a bag of trash to me and i was like ""sure what the hell"" and grabbed a couple pieces"
"What did the egg say to the boiling water? Sorry I can't get hard right now. I just got laid."
"If you don't want to be there today, just say ""I'm just here for the food and hopefully some good commercials. Also congrats on the wedding"""
"2050's kids won't get this... Snow"
"What is the most abundant spice in Africa? Paprika."
"Ladies, holding out on sex with your man to get what you want will not work. He will just take longer showers."
"My father could have the original copy of the Declaration of Independence on the counter, and still make a meatball sandwich over top of it."
"What did the stop light say to the car? Don't look I am changing"
"In light of the holiday Season... What do you call the alphabet with only 25 letters? Noe(L) ...no L.... im going to walk away now.. sorry"