134230

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fast zombie? A zoombie"

"Damn girl, are you astrophysics? Because I don't know enough about you to finish this joke."

"I always arrive late at the office... ... But I make up for it by leaving early."

"My wife cooked ribs last night. I accidentally dropped one on the floor, but still picked it up and took a bite. She yelled, ""that's disgusting!"" I replied, ""well, you're the one that cooked it!"""

"If I weren't such a genus I'd be more specific."

"First rule of double entendre club is please let us know if you're coming"

"Going to take my girlfriend out on a date to a Jewish restaurant. Hopefully it'll bring us kosher."

"1. Buy Dick Cheney's memoir. 2. Tie it to a board. 3. Pour water on it. 4. Demand the truth. 5. Fail to get it."

"a guy walks into a bar... ...says ""ouch"""

"What is Obama's least favorite Christmas Carol? Let It Snowden."