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Joke of the Day

"I got pulled over for speeding So, I really don't have the patience to type this long ass joke on my phone, but my wife's a whore."

"It gets cold in Alaska during the winter. Juneau what I mean?"

"What word in the dictionary is always spelled wrong? Wrong."

"A Mexican man goes to the dentists. Dentist: I'm afraid it's bad news. You have tooth decay. Mexican: Tooth dewhat?"

"A kid with a speech impediment spends his entire childhood in speech therapy. Youthless"

"Don't tell me about how you ""dressed up"" your baby for a special occasion. If you're wearing something you can shit in you aren't dressed up"

"My dyslexic brother made ginger bread yesterday. Poor Tyrone.."

"[heaven's IT department] Ok, I see why your computer's crashing. Have you been closing doors again? God: Yes, why? Too many open windows"

"What's big and black and excites Reddit admins? A censorship bar."

"My daughter loves all the toys she sees in commercials. So of course I have to tell her they don't exist in real life, just on tv."