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Joke of the Day

"Teacher : What is a comet ? Pupil : A star with a tail Teacher: Can you name one ? Pupil: Lassie !"

"If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz beer rather than a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me."

"This morning I was wondering why the sun wasn't rising... And then it dawned on me"

"Lots of nouns have particular GROUP names. A MOB of kangaroos, a HERD of cattle, a TEAM of footballers. What is the name for a group of Bankers? A WUNCH."

"What do you get when you cross a fishing rod with mud? a dirty hooker"

"An entire generation does not know what the hell is happening when a movie pans over to a wall calendar and the pages magically fly away."

"Really struggling on what to get my lady for Christmas this year. I mean, I'd hate to get her the same thing as her Husband does. That would be embarrassing"

"A man with no arms and no legs is standing at the bus stop... The bus driver pulls up and and says ""alright mate, how you getting on?"""

"What was the best use of the phrase ""That's what she said"" you've ever heard in person?"

"What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix? Baking Bad"