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Joke of the Day
"TIL that Paradise, Nevada was completely paved over at one point. To put up a parking lot"
Next Joke
"Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because they are all Targets."
"I Left My Job I used to be a banker but I left because I lost interest."
"My hangover has been going on for so long that I'm beginning to wonder if Peter Jackson directed it."
"My girlfriend said we should split up because she can't handle me acting like a detective all the time... ""GOOD IDEA!"" I said... ""We can cover more ground that way!"""
"So I'm chatting to this 14 year old on the Internet.. She is funny, flirty, sexy and intelligent and now she's telling me she's an undercover cop, how cool is that at her age!"
"A man was about to jump off the Empire State Building... A physicist runs up to him and shouts ""Don't do it you have so much potential!"""
"Why did Bill Gates get sick? Because he left the Windows open."
"Women love it when you emit three high pitched squawks, inflate your expandable throat pouch, and then dart back and forth between trees."
"My mom once called me at 3am to tell me some long lost relative died and hung up on me when I asked if they'd still be dead at 8am."