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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I decided to make a sex tape. But I came too quickly so we made a Vine. (Saw something similar in a meme so I can't take the credit)"

"What's the worlds longest sentence? I do."

"A man was afraid to go into Kohl's at the local strip mall because according to the sign: Kohls Staples Dicks"

"Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner."

"My doctor said he couldn't prescribe me with Viagra. No hard feelings."

"Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is getting released for the second time in Iraq. They're renaming the game to The Sims 5."

"What's the difference? What's the difference between a McDonald's burger and a Priest. Answer: none. They both put meat between two 10 year old buns.."

"Sorry I wrote ""All dogs matter"" on your ""I my Weimaraner"" bumper sticker."

"Q: What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it? A: a $20 bill"

"After a dump, I like my poophole clean as a whistle I'm very anal about it."