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Joke of the Day

"[Interview with a time traveller] ""What's life like in the year 3000?"" It's pretty much the same as 2015 but you can download a towel"

"How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up."

"Okay body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the ""energizing"" claims. You're soap."

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"What do Mike Jones and an owl have in common? Who?"

"Standing in the boys clothes section at Kohls waiting for my wife. I just realized I look creepy. Better move to the little girls section."

"Which way will it fall? If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land? Roosters don't lay eggs"

"All I'm saying is if you don't want me to walk into the women's restroom put words not pictures on the doors..."

"Why is Hel great in bed? Because she can *switch stances* ( )"

"Shout out to people who block me cuz it hurts their feelings I occasionally fav them without following. You can also just ask me to stop :/"