171487

Joke of the Day

"Standing in the boys clothes section at Kohls waiting for my wife. I just realized I look creepy. Better move to the little girls section."

"I recently had to stop making clothes for nuns... It was habit-forming."

"What do you call a cow... With three legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? That's right! Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? .... YOUR MOM."

"Using a butter knife on steak... it just doesn't cut it."

"What would you call Osama bin Laden if he became a pirate? Sandy Hook."

"Why couldn't the melons be together? Everyone knows melons cantaloupe."

"Patron: This bread is stale. Waiter: It wasn't last week."

"Every call with my mother starts in one of two ways: 1. WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED? IS EVERYTHING OK? 2. WHY ARE YOU CALLING? IS EVERYTHING OK?"

"What's the best thing about 12yr old girl in the shower Slick her hair back and she looks like an 11yr old boy"

"What's the difference between a church bell & a politician? A church bell peals from the steeple."