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Joke of the Day

"*drinking water without ice* This must be what it feels like to be in prison."

"By the cup of Nescafe even the most secret thoughts turn into words, and by the bottle of vodka into actions."

"The first movable printing press was made In the renaissance. .. This gave more people to jack off to the first porn ever."

"TIL it's impossible to stick your tongue out and look up at the same time Without looking like a twat"

"Why did the hipster complain about winter in July? He wanted to do it before it was cool."

"Why do Jamaican chickens make fun of all the other chickens? Because they're jerks."

"How would a pirate describe navigating Reddit on Talk like a Pirate Day? Arduous."

"I'm sorry did you say your name is ned or bread"

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? ...I don't pay 100$ to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends? because they can't protect their towers"